


See Right Through Me

by rainbowtourmaline



Series: What Was Left Unsaid [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: 5 Times, Angst, Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Jealousy, Panic Attacks, Spoilers, Spoilers for Episode: s05e18 A Single Pale Rose, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 22:39:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14724917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowtourmaline/pseuds/rainbowtourmaline
Summary: “I can’t see Bismuth.” The way Garnet solemnly removed her sunglasses nearly drew Pearl to her like a moth to a flame, a desperate yearning to comfort the fusion gem overcoming her. “I don’t see her in any of my visions.”For the first time, Pearl is tempted to betray Rose Quartz.





	See Right Through Me

**Author's Note:**

> **WARNING:** This oneshot contains spoilers for the latest episode, A Single Pale Rose. If you haven't seen it, turn back now because the spoilers in this fic are HUGE! 
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> I have written this fic called 'See Right Through Me', originally titled '5 Times Pearl Wanted to Tell Garnet the Truth' because boy did that episode screw me up ahahahahahaha. :')

**1\. Bismuth**

“I can’t see Bismuth.” The way Garnet solemnly removed her sunglasses nearly drew Pearl to her like a moth to a flame, a desperate yearning to comfort the fusion gem overcoming her. “I don’t see her in any of my visions.”

While Pearl was stuck in her place as if vines had curled around her feet and trapped her there, Rose gracefully strode towards Garnet and put a soothing hand on her shoulder. Garnet looked towards her leader, ready to listen to what she had to say:  

“Just because you can’t see her doesn’t mean she’s been shattered.” Rose said confidently. “She’s just lost. She’ll find her way back when she’s ready.”

Pearl nervously clasped her hands together.

“I hope you’re right.” Garnet said, closing her eyes and hoping Rose’s version of events would become the reality if she shut them hard enough. Pearl noticed that she always did that when Rose made one of her inspirational speeches. Pearl liked Garnet, so she paid attention these little details about her.  

“Come on.” Rose good naturedly elbowed Garnet with a cheeky grin. “Do you know Bismuth to ever walk away from a fight?”

Garnet snickered, but the joke just made Pearl frown.

“Never.”

“Exactly!” Rose hugged Garnet. “Now let’s go rally the troops.”

Garnet and Rose didn’t bother to check if Pearl was following them because she was loyal to a fault.

If they had bothered to look behind them, they would have noticed Pearl clasping her hands around her mouth, silently thanking Rose for forbidding her from revealing their secret because for the first time in her life she was tempted to betray her.

After all, Bismuth was her friend too.  

 

**2\. Amethyst**

“What was Pink Diamond like?” she looked up at Pearl with the innocence of a small human. “How did Rose shatter someone so big?”

Pearl gasped and sank to her knees and if she had lungs – she would have been gasping for air. Amethyst had only asked an innocent question about the gem she had admired so much and her greatest triumph, but nothing could stop the feeling of being crushed by a big tidal wave of emotions. In Pearl’s books she thought it was ridiculous how humans used metaphors like ‘her lungs were on fire’ or ‘the ocean waves strangled her’ to describe the sensation of drowning, but right now Pearl could almost empathise with those organic creatures who had experienced that level of suffocation, a feeling of being hopelessly trapped by a force of nature that just wouldn’t let go of you once it had you in its clutches.  

“Pearl? Pearl, please don’t cry!” she could faintly hear Amethyst calling out for her. “I’m sorry Pearl!”

Before she could even attempt to respond, Pearl could faintly hear Garnet in the background consoling Amethyst and asking her to go find Rose. Pearl’s heart ached when she could hear the tiny pitter patter of panicked feet going to find their mother figure and she gasped: “I’m so sorry Amethyst, I’m so sorry!”

“Hey, it’s not your fault.” Garnet said, putting a comforting arm around her and whispering sweet nothings in her ear. “Amethyst will be fine. And you’ll be okay too. Pink Diamond is not here and she’s not coming back. Rose made sure of that.”

But it was her fault.

It was her fault that Amethyst came out too small and everything else that had happened to them on this planet.  

 

**3\. Steven Quartz Universe**

“They’re going to name the baby Steven.” Garnet said as if it was just a fact of life, but Pearl refused to accept – _couldn’t_ accept it. Pearl hated the way Garnet made that goofy smile she’d otherwise adore, as she got a faraway look which suggested she was looking at a perfect and happy future that didn’t include Pearl. “I like it.”

“Rose can’t have a baby!” Pearl wheezed for what felt like the hundredth time.

At other times Garnet would have silently scorned her jealousy with a raised judgemental eyebrow, but this time the other gem put her hand on Pearls knee and said: “But she _is_ having a baby, Pearl.”

Pearl could have handled annoyance or anger, but it was Garnet’s _pity_ that broke her.

“She can’t have a baby because-”

Pearl left Homeworld and everything she knew behind for Rose.

Pearl didn’t put up a fight when Pink Diamond ordered her to stay silent for Rose.

Pearl stayed trapped on this _miserable planet_ for Rose.

Those were the things she wanted to say that night on the beach, but instead she said:

“I love Rose!” she sobbed and threw herself into Garnet’s arms, desperate to find comfort and to hide from her own shame. Garnet silently tucked Pearl’s head under her chin and clutched onto her tightly, not letting go until the other gem cried all the tears she had to shed.

 

**4\. Sardonyx**

The guilt drove Pearl to extreme measures.

She tried everything.

She asked Vidalia to teach her sign language, but her hands would still clasp around her mouth as if invisible hands had forced them there.

She tried illustrating the story in the sand, but seagulls would come to peck at Peridot, forcing Garnet to come to her rescue just as the waves came to wash her masterpiece away.

She even tried writing Garnet a letter, but Steven mistook it as a romantic confession, so she ate the evidence (ugh).  

Her hair turned an even lighter shade of pink and the manic behaviour and stressed out groans didn’t escape Garnet’s notice.

“You don’t have to beat yourself up Pearl.” Garnet said. “I’ve forgiven you.”

“But I would never forgive myself if I didn’t at least try to tell you.” Pearl wanted to say. “I can’t lie to you.”

But she couldn’t.

And she never would.

 

**5\. Mystery Girl**

“So how’s _Mystery Girl_.” Garnet lowered her specs to give the other gem a saucy little wink. Pearl replied by sucking on her straw loudly, tickled pink at her family’s ‘humour’ – they had a bet going on what her admirer’s name was. It was silly really, Pearl only told Amethyst “A lady never tells” because the other gem kept trying to interrogate her about the first date.

It was also fun to tease her.

It was also nice to have a secret she chose to keep.

“Okay.” Pearl responded, being as mean with the details with Garnet as she was to Amethyst. Usually with something this exciting she’d rush to tell the fusion every little detail because they had been friends for literally centuries – but then the human phrase ‘treat them mean, keep them keen’ always pop into her head. The hopeless romantic in Pearl liked to think that Garnet was a _little_ jealous of her new gal pal, but deep down in the many layers of her mind she knew not to listen to that version of herself anymore.

“Do you think you’ll see her again?” Garnet asked.

Pearl stared into her drink sadly as she slowly turned the straw.

Gosh darn it. She could flirt with Garnet and put on a dazzling grin that told the world she had the time of her life – but her oldest friend could always see right through her and reveal the secrets she didn’t want to tell.

“I don’t know…” Pearl said. “I don’t think so.”

“Did she treat you all right?” Pearl smiled at Garnet’s concern and wished more than ever that she could confess everything.

“She’s lovely.” Pearl said. “But she reminds me too much of Rose.”

Garnet reached for her hand and squeezed it, giving her silent reassurance that she was doing the right thing.

It gave Pearl a sliver of hope that she would be able to discover the truth someday.

Just a sliver though.

**Author's Note:**

> When I finished A Single Pale Rose I was super excited because: 
> 
> 1) I suspected the Pink Diamond is Rose theory was true  
> 2) That fact has now changed all of the relationships between the characters in the cast, except Steven and Pearl's relationship, and that's freaking fantastic writing  
> 3) It's made two of my favourite fictional characters even more complex than they were before 
> 
> But I also can't stop thinking about how Pearl probably wanted to tell SOMEONE about her big secret that she was forced to keep and it made me want to hug the bird mama. 
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> I also tried to write how I think Garnet and Pearl's relationships would overcome this new piece of information but... I honestly can't decide if Garnet would be horribly sad for Pearl and angry at Rose for making her keep the secret or if Garnet would think Pearl kept this info from her on purpose because Pearl has lied to her before and Garnet may still be a little insecure after the Sardonyx incident... 
> 
> Gosh darn it Cartoon Network - air the next episode and put us all out of our misery!


End file.
